NOTES FROM ENTROPY'S TALK:
How do some guys progress, while others plateau?
Benjamin Bloom, research in excellence
Key is practice (80% of success)
0 hours – a person is clueless
10 hours – Not embarrassing, motivation to not look bad in front of their friends
100 hours – competent (most people stop here, or ‘not embarrassing’; know what to do but success is still random, this level of success is fine for most people – regularly get the number, sometimes make-out, friends are impressed)
1,000 hours – excellence (2 years of nightly going out, must have a very strong motivation, like mom did not hug enough, bad breakup, most mPUA’s, at least 50-60 lays and can handle most any situation)
10,000 hours – World-Class (likely that no one has achieved, on the order of 7 years of going-out every night for hours, has seen almost every situation)
In the community, so many people, will do things like sign up and never post on a forum, even less will attend a meeting, many drop out within 3 months … at each stage, the numbers dramatically decline
Hours are from actually being in set, actively involved … not just being present
Success comes from six things
1) Deliberate Practice à always pushing into weaknesses, past limits, repetitive focus on sticking points … not a continuation when you do something well
2) Teacher/Mentor … doesn’t need to be a coach, could just be anyone better (criticize and motivate) … had a rock-star natural friend in Boston
3) Openness to Feedback/Self-Aware
4) Mastermind Groups (like minded people)
5) Trying new things/openness to new ideas – even when ridiculous
6) Passion/Fun (taking time to refresh, to not always be ‘on’)
Moreover,
All sticking points come from one of six things:
1) healthy lifestyle (physical, emotional, social, mental)
2) approaching and anxiety
3) conversational abilities, basic social skills
4) flirting/building attraction
5) logistics/dates/phones
6) physicality/sex
Everyone comes to the game at different points, with different strengths, these things build on each other but it’s not a straight-line list
Q&A
What are people’s sticking points?
#5 and text
Text regularly, within 24 hours... have 4-5 text exchanges within three days... aim is to get a date, texts are such low investment she will show you interest
Not, “Hey wuts up?”
But Refer to the conversation/joke … many party girls get lots of phone numbers, you don’t want to end up as ‘Who’s Jim?’ in her mind tomorrow when she talks to her friend about last night
To be successful, one has to think about the nature of attraction versus comfort/connection
Attraction is temporary, fun ... ‘hey do you remember that guy at the bar I made out with, I really shouldn’t have done that, haha’
Connection is permanent, deep
To better connect
1) find commonalities (anyone can do this, ‘you like snowboarding, I like snowboarding’)
2) then find the uniqueness in the other person, more personal stories: family, childhood, tragedy, heartbreak, dreams, vulnerability
e.g. I’m a lawyer … Why? Did you always want to do that? What drove you to that?
I’m always logical, ambitious … well I remember one time I convinced dad to buy me a jet ski and my parents always said I should be a lawyer
3) Then, find the emotions behind the stories
e.g. always ambitious … what drove you to be ambitious? Deeper emotion, reason
Well I always had to fight for my dad’s attention, he was always working
Understand the person better than before, person is vulnerable
Also, use an idea from NLP, “Go first”
Share your personal story and then go to the next level (makes you vulnerable first)
‘I convinced my parents to do X, always felt I had to compete with my sister”
No one asks these questions, so be careful
Risk of becoming her Hollywood/Disney ‘The One’ in an hour
Must balance attraction and comfort, on one side is the dancing monkey, on the other is friend/shrink zone
Instead of old Mystery method model (A1-A3) -> (C1-C3)
Think like a zig-zag, aiming for greater depth at each stage
A -->
C
<--
A
-->
C
<--
etc
You should be able to escalate your kino, for instance, or ask more emotional questions at each lower stage … e.g. shoulder, to arm around her, to make out, to sex, to a relationship if you want it
Likewise, for day and night game, you have to calibrate
In day game, you need less attraction but more connection
In night game, the level of stimuli is absurd, you must match, be too much, a lot of attraction and wildness and less so connection
Day: ‘hey this is kind of random, but I thought you were cute”
Night: “YEAHHHH … HEYYY THIS IS KIND OF RANDOM BUT I THINK YOU’RE CUTE”
One of the best guys he knows at night game is almost frantic, running around, arms flailing
One should always be pushing their limits, too far, always go over the boundary … it’s always farther than you think
Approach Anxiety is still there, can only go down in the short-run
I think of AA like Public Speaking Anxiety
You have to work on building the courage to be outcome independent, go through it anyway
Similarly, other hurdles will be there, must face them likewise (AA, then First kiss, etc)
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